Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
