she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
