Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
