Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
