What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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