Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
