Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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