Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
