What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
