chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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