Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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