We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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