i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
