Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
