i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
