Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
