It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
