WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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