I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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