not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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