it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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