You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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