I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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