TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
