John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
