Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
