I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
