Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
