gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
