Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
