i just google imaged poop.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
