this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
