ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
