Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
