Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
