You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
