We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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