You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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