I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
