And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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