bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
