She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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