Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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