You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
