Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he fucked my hip out of place.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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