I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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