I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
