i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
