So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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