eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
